The Annual No Pants Subway Ride

January 11^th, 2015, was the day of the annual No Pants Subway Ride. This novel event, started for the first time in 2002 with just seven participants in New York City, has grown to incorporate more than sixty cities worldwide.

The premise of the event is that transit passengers ride trains without wearing anything but undies on their lower halves. The top half must be as if they were going about their normal day. No acknowledgement of pantslessness is to be made.

Growing over four years from seven riders to one hundred and fifty in New York City in 2006, but 2013 sixty cities had people coordinating the event.

The event was the brainchild of Improv Everywhere, which is a New York prank collective, whose motto is “We Cause Scenes”.  Their aim is to create joyful chaos in public places. The fact that many participating cities are shivering through winter does not dampen enthusiasm!

This year, tens of thousands of people participated worldwide – with four thousand in New York City alone. The oldest registered participant was eighty four years young, and the youngest was just seven months old. Other cities which participated include Chicago, Tokyo, Bangalore, Madrid, Copenhagen, London, Jerusalem, Hamburg, and even a pantsless ride on a ski gondola in Fukushima, Japan.

Even Australians jumped on this bandwagon (and let’s face it, our climate is much more conducive at this time of year!) Trains and trams from Bondi to Adelaide had pantsless riders.

The founder of the event, Charlie Todd, has stated that the event is now an “international celebration of silliness”.

Missed The No Pants Subway Ride for 2015? Don’t despair. World No Pants Day is still to come – held in numerous nations of the world on the first Friday in May. This previously informal, college event became official in 2000, and has been embraced in colleges and universities in the US, Canada, Sweden, Finland, the UK and Australia.

Best get some nice undies!

Japan’s “Boob Goddess”

We all love our beautiful bras, and as such we should all want to look after what goes into our bras. We all know this involves wearing well-fitted, supportive bras and regularly checking the breasts for anything abnormal. But what about breast massage?

A novel invention has recently come out of Japan (where else?). Invented by Japanese midwife and founder of the Wellness Life Institute, Takiko Shindo, aka the “Boob Goddess”, this is a modified “rake” which is claimed to firm a woman’s breasts – and to even make them bigger by up to three centimetres.

Called the Oppai Taisou Hand (which translates as “Boob exercise massage”), it is a pink hand-shaped plastic rake which is used to stroke and brush the breasts. Modelled on Shindo’s own hand, it looks a little like a blunt back scratcher. Shindo claims breast massage to be not only effective for enhancement of breast size and shape, but also to improve shoulder stiffness, menstrual cramping, menopausal symptoms, and overall breast health.

There are claims that there is “science” behind this strange invention. According to Shindo, the breast’s supporting ligaments need to move so that the naturally occurring breast fats don’t settle amongst the chest wall musculature, hence causing the breasts to sag.

Modern medicine and cosmetic surgeons tend to disagree with this theory. The fact is that ligaments do stretch over time – but unlike muscles, they never bounce back. Once they are stretched, they are stretched forever.

It’s not all bad news for this invention, though. Using the “rake” to massage and lift the opposite breast, the pectoral muscles are being massaged and exercised. These muscles lie under the breast tissues, and with exercise, they can be tightened and enlarged – providing better shape to the upper torso. It is also scientifically considered that stimulating the breasts mechanically can encourage breast growth. And better circulation is encouraged, which promotes better overall breast health.

Does it work? Who knows? But it has to be a cheaper, healthier option than getting breast implants!

Looking Back – The Codpiece

It can be funny sometimes to think how styles and trends and the epitome of manliness have changed over the years. When this writer was a little girl, manly men wore white Y-front undies and never went without a white chesty Bonds singlet (at least, that’s what my father wore ... and does to this day. Some of us don’t move with the times so easily, it seems).

Five hundred years ago, the epitome of the quintessential manly man was expressed in the codpiece. Worn almost exclusively through the 1500’s and all but gone by the 1600’s, this was one unforgettable garment which was basically underwear worn as outerwear.

Men of this era wore hose to cover their legs; these did not cover the genitalia as well.  The stylish length for jackets and doublets rose over time, and men found themselves embarrassingly exposed in their nether regions when they sat or mounted their horses. To cover their genitals, they wore a simple piece of linen which was tied down or buttoned to the hose. It was named the codpiece, from the Middle English word “cod” which meant “scrotum”. The codpiece also offered better freedom of movement.

It wasn’t long before codpieces became a way for men to enhance rather than hide the area. They were padded, embellished, and made longer and bigger - to the point of being ridiculous. Some were crafted from metal. The bigger a man’s “ego”, the bigger he wore his codpiece.

There may have been other reasons for this than to simply emphasise and exaggerate a man’s sexual wares. Anthropologists believe that the prevalence of venereal diseases dictated the use of codpieces to allow them contain dressings and medications for the area, without being obvious to others.

King Henry VIII of England is perhaps the most famous wearer of the codpiece; a look at his surviving armour shows just how big he wore this garment. Considering that it is well known that he suffered from advanced and severe syphilis, and in light of the medication theory, one can surmise that perhaps it wasn’t all about his ego. Not entirely, anyway.

These days we usually only see codpieces at Renaissance Fairs and on Superhero costumes...

G-Strings – The Pros and Cons

G-Strings. Otherwise known as “thongs”, you either love them or hate them.

I have to admit, I am a fan – and have been for the better part of twenty years, when I discovered them at the age of nineteen. My mother was confused by this. My grandmother was scandalised. They could never see how it could possibly be comfortable – or what the point was if my butt wasn’t covered.

But therein lies the whole point. Don’t get me wrong; I do like big “Bridget Jones” undies under certain circumstances. Like in winter.  Or when the tummy absolutely MUST be given a little extra help at being sucked in. But come summer, when it’s hot, or when thinner clothing might display the dreaded visible panty line, there’s nothing better than a G-string.

Some ladies might say going commando in these circumstances is the better option. Um, no. I’m afraid I just can’t do that. It seems, somehow, totally unhygienic...

For the uninitiated, a g-string (or thong) is an undergarment which covers the pubis and the genitals, passes between the buttocks, and is attached to a thin band which runs around the hips. It was first invented in its modern form during the age of jazz, when it was worn for modesty by burlesque dancers.

So what are the pros and cons of wearing g-strings?

Pros:

·        Feels like wearing nothing if the correct size is worn

·        No visible panty line

·        Can look and feel very sexy

·        Can be cooler in hot weather

·        Can be incredibly comfortable

·        Guys tend to love them

Cons:

·        Can be uncomfortable or even painful if the incorrect size is chosen

·        Should not be worn every single day

·        Under some garments, your butt might get rubbed or irritated – for example, rough or heavy jeans

·        They are not going to absorb sweat on a hot day like briefs will

·        Worn with pants that sit on the hips, you may be able to see the thong above the waistline – not a good look

Tips to Successfully Wearing a G-String

·        Always choose a cotton garment, or at the very least, one with a cotton gusset

·        Change regularly – at least every day.

·        Choose a size larger than your normal underwear – this is both more comfortable as well as more sanitary

·        Accept that it can take some getting used to

·        Accept that wearing a lace thong might defeat the purpose of wearing them  insofar as the visible panty line – like lace bras, lace on a thong will often show its texture through clothing

·        Don’t wear a g-string every day

·        Never wear a thong for sleeping at night

·        Avoid wearing a thong when menstruating

·        Avoid wearing a thong for long trips, like flying

What was going on under all those Skirts?

Historical women’s underwear was truly mind boggling. They might not have worn bras or underpants, but they certainly didn’t skimp on hidden fripperies under their skirts. In fact, there was some seriously hardcore hardware worn underneath clothing.

Here is a rundown on what well-dressed ladies wore underneath those long skirts...

·        Open Crotch Pantalets – these were basically two individual leg covers which came over the hips at the sides and tied at the waist. They provided no cover to the genitalia whatsoever, being fully open from the thigh to the waist. It was believed that women required proper ventilation in the area. In the mid-1800s, some of these pantalets or drawers had optional buttons applied to the crotch.

·        Dimity Pockets – before the days of handbags, this was how women carried their bits and bobs, including keys. There were worn under the skirt, tied at the waist, and were accessed via a slit in the folds of the skirt. In time, pockets were sewn directly into skirts instead.

·        Panniers – these were wide hooped petticoats. The woman tied the support garment at the waist, which gave the shape to dresses during the 1700’s. The style of the time dictated a very wide skirt from the hips – panniers created the effect.

·        Bustles – these were worn in the later 1800’s and early 1900’s. Women wanted an hourglass silhouette and the bustle nicely contrasted with the cinched and corseted waist. The bustle enhanced and showed off the buttocks – so that even the flattest-bottomed woman had a pleasing rear.

·        Cage Crinolines – these were the undergarment big guns. The shape of the early Victorian era dictated tiny waists and voluminous skirts – the bigger the better. Enter the Cage Crinoline. Rings of steel were attached with string and worn tied at the waist. They not only distributed the enormous amount of fabric in women’s skirts, they allowed a woman to walk without getting tangled in said skirting. They had to be removed to catch public transport, and women required assistance to dress.

Underwear in Space?

Carrie Fisher famously told the story of how, during the making of the Star Wars movies, director George Lucas convinced her to go commando under her costumes, because, “there is no underwear in space”. So off with the bra and panties!

According to what Lucas reportedly told Fisher, in space, when one is weightless, the flesh expands – and normal underwear would become too small and constrictive. Is this true?

Another space film which received some criticism on the underwear issue was Gravity. Sandra Bullock’s character floats weightlessly in the space station in boy-short undies and a singlet. According to a professional astronaut, this just does not ring true at all...

It seems that attire in space is anything but sexy.

So what do astronauts wear under their space suits?

Underneath the heavy and cumbersome space suit, an astronaut wears a liquid cooling and ventilation garment. This resembles a set of thermal underwear, with cooling tubes for water to keep the body temperature stable. And underneath this? Adult diapers, or nappies.

Called Maximum Absorbency Garments (MAGs), they have extra absorbency properties and are worn during lift off, landing, and “space walking”, to absorb what would usually be deposited in the toilet. Both male and female astronauts wear them. While in all possible instances the astronaut will use lavatory facilities on the space station instead, the MAG provides peace of mind. Space suits are not easy to get on and off.

NASA astronauts are given MAGs for launch, spacewalking, and re-entry attempts. They also drink a large amount of salty water before re-entry as fluids are not retained in zero-gravity; this prevents them from fainting when being re-exposed to gravity on Earth.

These undergarments become drenched in sweat – apparently the human body gets hot out there.

And what happens to the dirty underwear? Apparently dirty laundry gets tossed into a resupply ship which is unmanned. When the ship is chock full of rubbish (including those adult nappies), the hatch is closed, it is undocked, and floats off into space to fall into the atmosphere – where it burns up on its fall towards Earth. Now we all know what is in space dust...

Amazing Historical Underwear: Mary, Queen of Scots’ Chemise

There are numerous undergarment relics to be found around the world. One of these can be seen in Warwickshire, England, at Coughton Court. This manor house is the seat of the famous English Catholic family, the Throckmortons, who have been in residence there for six hundred years.

The relic is purportedly the chemise worn by Mary Stuart, Queen of Scots during her execution on February 8^th, 1587. This Catholic queen was beheaded in Scotland on the orders of her Protestant cousin Elizabeth I, due to various plots by Mary which threatened her seat on the throne of England as well as her life.

The queen’s death was anything but clean and precise. Her beheading required three attempts before it was achieved, and the whole spectacle was a very grisly end to the life of a woman and an aristocrat.

Considered to have been worn for the occasion, the long white linen chemise was worn as an “underdress”.  Low in the collar and wide across the shoulders (which, if genuine, might explain the absence of bloodstains), it has been carbon dated to the year of the Scottish queen’s death in 1587, and it is stitched with the words, “of the holy martyr, Mary, Queen of Scots”. It has been taken very seriously as a genuine relic by devout Catholics ever since the sixteenth century.

Whether the chemise is genuine we will never know – though that likelihood is somewhat questionable. Not only due to the absence of any stain. Contemporary reports stated that her undergarments were all crimson red – to represent a Catholic martyr. Whether this is true of fabricated is a mystery.

There are also reports that everything connected with the execution was ordered to be burnt – from the block and the scaffold to the queen’s clothing. Yet it is not a stretch to imagine that loyal supporters would not have secreted away whatever they could to be kept as relics of the event.

We will never know. Personally, I think it more likely that, yes, the chemise was owned and worn by the Scottish queen – just not on that last grisly day when she lost her head.